


Architectural Pattern Analysis

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3845395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dinesh, Gilfoyle, Richard and Jared go on a double date and things get heated when they play The Newlywed Game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Architectural Pattern Analysis

“How was your dinner?” Dinesh asked, without looking up from his computer. The endless management meetings Richard had to go to sounded incredibly boring.

“Okay. I feel like Erlich can’t be around Jared and me without…”  
“Picturing you fucking? Yeah, he has the same thing around me and Gilfoyle,” he said. “It’s weird trying to talk to some about Java and knowing they’re just thinking ‘gay gay gay gay.’”

“Yeah,” Richard agreed. “Maybe…we should hang out just the four of us some time. Like a…like a double date or something.”

Dinesh thought about it. “I don’t know. Gilfoyle and I don’t really do dates. Everything’s very regulated to our bed or the kitchen.”

“Well, maybe getting out could be fun for you guys,” Richard said.

“I don’t really equate Jared with fun,” Dinesh said. “No offense.”

Gilfoyle sat down next to Dinesh and draped his arm around him. “What are we talking about?”

“Richard wants to go on a double date,” he said. “That sounds pointless, right?”

“I don’t know. Would it end in partner swapping?” Gilfoyle asked.

“What? No,” Richard said.

“Then, yeah, that sounds pretty pointless,” Gilfoyle said.

“You’d want to partner swap?” Dinesh asked, wrinkling up his face. “Wait, which one would I get?”

“Neither,” Richard reminded them. “Never mind. I should’ve known that suggestion wouldn’t work.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Gilfoyle asked.

“Well, Dinesh told me you guys don’t really go on dates so…”

“You think we’re not good enough for your wine and cheese and Scrabble nights?” Gilfoyle asked.

“What?” Richard shook his head and walked away.

Gilfoyle and Dinesh sat down on the couch to eat their dinner. When Gilfoyle turned the TV on, Dinesh said, “Have you noticed we always have the TV on when we’re hanging out?”

“Yeah. So?”

“So, isn’t this the point in the relationship where we’re supposed to be going out on dates to talk? Get to know each other?” Dinesh asked.

“You already know me,” Gilfoyle said.

“I know nothing about you. I don’t even know if you went to college.”

“You don’t understand the essence of who someone is by just learning a lot of biographical details. I promise you know me,” Gilfoyle said, pulling Dinesh close. He felt closer to Dinesh than he ever had to anyone else and didn’t like having that intimacy questioned. He turned the TV off. “Okay. Talk to me.”

“What city are you from?”

“Do you have any reference points for what different cities in Canada are like?”

“Not really. Why do you hate your mom?”

“She’s a bitch.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“Several times.”

Dinesh raised an eyebrow and waited for him to elaborate.

“Nothing relevant happened.”

Dinesh sighed. “I’d like to try Richard’s double date idea. It’s hoaky, but…I like the idea of just sitting around and chatting with you.”

“Sure. Whatever you want, babe.” Gilfoyle said before kissing his forehead.

Jared was fretting, straightening everything out on the table as he waited for Dinesh and Gilfoyle to arrive at his house.

“Jared. You’re going to be fine. You made them a three course meal,” Richard said. “Besides, you see these guys all the time at work.”

“And I’m always anxious at work,” Jared reminded him.

“That is a good point,” Richard acknowledged.

“I feel like Gilfoyle will eventually happen upon saying the one thing that makes me unravel as a human.”

“Yeah me too,” Richard said.

“The door was unlocked so we’re coming in,” Gilfoyle called out as he and Dinesh walked in.

Dinesh looked around Jared’s house. “Wow, this place is–”

“The kind of house a man in his 30s should have?” Gilfoyle suggested.

“I was going to say ‘really nice’ but…yeah.”

“Still can’t believe you walked away from all that money and security just to bang Richard,” Gilfoyle said as he took his seat.

Jared started serving food. Richard said, “That didn’t have anything to do with Jared leaving his job.”

Gilfoyle chuckled and Dinesh looked at Richard with raised eyebrows.

“…what?” he asked. He noticed Jared was looking down at the floor as he took his seat.

“You didn’t quit your job because you had a crush on me,” Richard said.

“No!” Jared said quickly. “I knew Pied Piper was viable. I believed in the product. I mean, in retrospect was it an uncharacteristically drastic move? Sure. Could it have been influenced by feelings of passion?…Well…the point is, it’s really not a big deal,” he assured him.

“Sure, unless Richard ends up dumping you and failing to get the company off the ground. Then you’d probably have some pretty strong feelings about how you ended up with nothing,” Gilfoyle said.

“This, uh, this food is really good. What is it?” Richard asked.

“It’s palak paneer. I’ve been working on perfecting the recipe for a long time,” Jared said.

“Yeah, I can tell. I’ve never had palak paneer this good in America,” Dinesh said.

Jared grinned proudly.

They ate in silence for a while.

“There should be something we can talk about,” Richard said.

“Well, we all like computers and…gay sex,” Dinesh said.

“I was reading an article today about a voice controlled smart–” Jared started.

“Already bored. Try again.”

“What do you two usually talk about?” Jared asked.

“What position we should do it in or whose turn it is to go to the kitchen and grab Gatorade,” Dinesh murmured bitterly.

Jared frowned. “Dinesh, are you feeling like you and Gilfoyle don’t talk enough?”

Gilfoyle narrowed his eyes at Jared. He knew Jared well enough to know he probably had good intentions, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was intentionally sabotaging his relationship. “No. We’re fine,” he said.

“With Richard, I like to designate times when we don’t look at our devices and we just focus our attention on each other,” Jared said.

“So, you act like he’s a teenager and you’re his annoying parent?” Gilfoyle asked.

“Well, getting to know each other is important,” Jared said.

Gilfoyle wouldn’t have minded the unsolicited advice if Dinesh wasn’t nodding his agreement.

“I guarantee you that Dinesh and I know each other better than you and Richard do. I’m downloading a Newylwed Game app and we’re going to destroy you at it,” Gilfoyle announced.

“Which one of your girlfriends does your husband find most attractive?” Richard read. “This is already obviously a terrible idea.”

“Shut up and answer the questions,” Gilfoyle told him.

“Why do me and Richard have to be the wives?” Dinesh asked.

“The app put in the instructions that if it’s a same-sex couple the wife is the shorter person,” Jared said. “That’s…progressive of them, I guess.”

“Alright, first question, which of your girlfriends does your husband find most attractive,” Gilfoyle said. “I am 100% sure that Dinesh wrote Richard.”

“Correct. I wrote Richard and then I wrote ‘this is a terrible game’,” Dinesh told him.

“Great, so that’s a point for us,” Gilfoyle said. “Jared?”

“I guessed that Richard would write Dinesh,” Jared said uncomfortably.

“Correct,” Richard said, looking at the floor.

“Who was the last girl your husband dated before you were married,” Gilfoyle read off. “Dinesh knows it was Tara.” Dinesh nodded. “Easy point for us. Jared?”

“Um, Richard wouldn’t know that,” Jared said.

“Yeah, I wrote I don’t know,” Richard said.

“Oh, look, Mr. We Talk So Fucking Much is already apparently less open than I am,” Gilfoyle said.

“To be fair, I know your exes because we lived together and they were always walking half-naked around our apartment. That’s not really you talking to me,” Dinesh said.

“Last one for this round,” Gilfoyle said. “How many times did you date before your first kiss with your husband? Easy, Dinesh didn’t.”

“He’s correct,” Dinesh said.

“Richard feels like he had 2 and ¼ of a relationship before me,” Jared said.

“How does that even…” Gilfoyle asked, but Richard showed that he had put in ‘2 and 1/4’ for his answer.

“Okay. I guess we’re tied,” Gilfoyle said unhappily. “Next round. This time Jared and I put in our answers.”

“Who was the last boy your wife dated before you were married,” Dinesh said. “Gilfoyle would, of course, use this as another opportunity to point out that I didn’t date anyone before him.”

“Yup,” Gilfoyle said happily. “That’s a point for us.”

“Before me, Richard dated Emily with the teeth.”

Richard held up his answer. “It literally says ‘Emily with the teeth.’ What’s it like to have a boyfriend who hangs on your every word?” Dinesh asked.

“I listen to you,” Gilfoyle said.

“What clothing item would you like to see your wife eliminate from her wardrobe?” Dinesh read. “Gilfoyle would say my purple and brown rugby shirt.”

Gilfoyle smiled and said, “See how on the same page we are?”

“I don’t know,” Richard said. “I think Jared likes all my clothes.”

“Yup, I put ‘I like all Richard’s clothes.’”

Dinesh crossed his arms and pouted.

“Okay, these questions aren’t getting us anywhere,” Gilfoyle said, putting down his phone. “Jared, why don’t you tell Richard about the last person you dated before him?”

“It never came up,” Jared said.

“He’s apparently complained to you about Emily with the teeth enough. You never felt like opening up back?”

“That’s fair,” Jared said. “Um. My last boyfriend before Richard was intense and…complicated and…not that nice, in retrospect and…hard to talk about, I guess.”

Dinesh immediately felt bad for Jared. “Gilfoyle, you’re being so hypocritical. Last night you told me you’ve been in love several times but ‘nothing relevant happened.’ What does that even mean?”

“I just don’t think re-hashing the past every time you’re in a new relationship is necessary,” Gilfoyle said. He saw everyone looking at him and added, “I was just fucking with Jared a minute ago…and I’m sorry.”

Jared was pretty surprised to actually hear Gilfoyle apologizing to him about anything and he smiled. “Thank you.”

“Do you want help clearing the table? You did all the cooking,” Richard said.

“I don’t mind. I like being helpful,” Jared said.

Richard watched him for a second and then started helping him put the dishes away.

“Oh. Thank you,” Jared said.

“Yeah. Of course,” Richard said. “I can finish it myself if you want to sit down.”

“Okay,” Jared said, taking a seat. Richard smiled at him as he kept clearing the table. “Are you sleeping over tonight?” Jared asked.

“If that’s okay,” Richard said. Jared smiled and nodded.

“So, that stuff about you leaving a good job to work for me…I never really thought about how you kind of having a crush on me might’ve made you a little irrational and I just feel kind of…”

“Richard, I made my choice,” Jared said. “And if you decide to break up with me or if for whatever reason I don’t pull my weight and you need to drop me from Pied Piper or anything like that, that’s your choice. You have nothing to feel responsible for.”

“Thanks,” Richard said. He finished loading the dishwasher and then sat down in Jared’s lap. Jared grinned and kissed him.

Gilfoyle and Dinesh sat in the back of their Uber awkwardly. They weren’t even touching. Dinesh hadn’t realized how much Gilfoyle was always snuggling him, always pulling him close, until he didn’t. 

After a while, Dinesh said, “I know that I don’t talk about my past much either, but that’s because…I feel like there’s barely anything to tell. I don’t have a lot of experience…not just sexually, but in general. You’ve seen me sitting in front of the computer so you already know 90% of my life story. But you…I feel like there are huge novels of your life I’m missing out on.”

“Do you know why I seem interesting, Dinesh?” Gilfoyle asked.

“Well, for starters, one day you just woke up and walked to a new country by yourself,” Dinesh said. “That’s the kind of thing that makes a person curious.”

“I seem interesting because I’m mysterious,” Gilfoyle said. “I don’t talk a lot about stuff. Like, for instance, the day I walked to a different country to start a new life. So, it all seems like this big interesting mystery as long as I don’t talk about it. That’s why people like me. And I am constantly afraid that one day I’m going to let you know one too many things and you’ll realize there’s no mystery. It’s just a big mess. And you won’t like me anymore.”

Dinesh stared at him. “Like Lost,” he said softly.

“Exactly like Lost. And I don’t want that. Not with you, at least. I don’t want the mysterious bad boy stuff to fade and you’re left thinking I’m really not especially interesting or exceptional.”

“Is that what happened the other times you were in love?” Dinesh asked him.

Gilfoyle hesitated and then said, “Alright. There are seven times before you that I said I was in love with someone and they said they were in love with me.” He paused and Dinesh leaned in encouragingly, putting his hand on Gilfoyle’s hand. “The first one was in high school. I was such a fucking awkward straight edge nerd and this girl…she was so punk and cool. She was the one who introduced me to Satanism.”

“So, you were me and she was your Gilfoyle?” Dinesh said.

“No. Because she turned out to be totally selfish and sadistic and cruel,” Gilfoyle said.

Dinesh raised an eyebrow at him and Gilfoyle laughed. “Shut up,” he said.

“I didn’t say anything,” Dinesh said innocently. He gave Gilfoyle a little kiss. “Keep going. Tell me everything.”


End file.
